Love is

I didn't give you the gift of life, But in my heart I know. The love I feel is deep and real, As if it had been so.

For us to have each other Is like a dream come true! No, I didn't give you The gift of life, Life gave me the gift of you. --- Unknown

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Great NEWS!!!

Pre-approval recieved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our little guy... to be named Elijah Miles Ferguson will be joining our family... dont know exactly when yet. I feel such relief and the tiny dam that held my heart back from falling head over heals was shattered when I heard those words "you are pre-approved!" Thank you God for this priceless gift!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Oh the drama...

Ok so since the last post we have had a little drama.  Ok it was alot of drama in a short period of time.  So our fabulous agency locked us in with our little guy and sent of our information for pre-approval.  The next day Sara went back to check and it had disappeared.  There was nothing in the sytem about it at all. Our little man was still floating on the shared list to be scooped up at any moment by another agency or family. AHHHHHHHHHHH!  So she immediatly went to work to redo the forms and get him locked again.  NOTHING she did worked she tried all day in everyway she could.  Meanwhile I sent out a distress text to my precious prayer circle of family and friends. We all (Sara included) prayed as she continued to do whatever she could to lock him in again.  The day wore on, and we waited for morning in China, Sara emailed her rep in China and he went to work.  They had no luck in figuring out what happened or why, but he was able to convince CCCWA to allow Madison to lock his file with their agency. We didnt find this out until early the next morning.   Sara got very little sleep, this lady is amazing and truely cares about these kids and families she works with. Most precious to us, the message we recieved from her gave the glory to God. By later that day she had us officially locked in again and our paperwork filed.  Things are slow processing pre-approvals right now, what normally takes two days is taking about five.  So we have been waiting, today China asked a clarification question so we hope to get final approval on him tomorrow.  So I hope to be posting very soon that we are officially locked with him.

I am so in awe of God, this little boy is meant for us, I truly believe that. 
............................................................................................I have seen His hand in all of this. 

I want to address a few things in this blog;

*Anyone who has walked through this crazy adoption journey knows you take nothing lightly.  You pray and think and talk with your spouse through every detail.  No decision is made without peace and clarity from God and a unified decision with your spouse and sometimes your children.  We have a band of people praying for us and with us about every detail. That said, this entire thing is a leap of faith.  Faith that God will provide, faith that He will give peace and clarity. Faith that you are doing what pleases God by loving His children.  It is a scary decision and one that requires you to take your eyes off of yourself and look to God and say, God only you can do this, because I am not good enough.  So when we share our good news with you, about our children, dont look at us and say " have you prayed about this?"  because the answer is "are you nuts? of course we prayed, and prayed and prayed some more!! Do you think we would decide to walk through paying to be judged and scrutinized and emotionally exhausted, without praying first? Do you think we would put our selves through the ups and downs and joys and heartaches without Gods leading?  Do you think we would face the fear of massive finacial barriers without the assurance that the God who sees all promised to walk with us? If you learn anything... learn this... when you adopt, you pray!"

*Also, dont give me the "you know there are kids here in America that need homes?"  Especially when you have not lifted one finger to help those precious children.  Our hearts ache for every child without a home, when we hold an event we honor all of them.  We talk about their needs, and ask people to see them and pray for them and adopt them.  With that said, let me focus on our individual decision.  We started looking here in the US, our hearts began at home,  but God knew of a beautiful raven haired little girl, who is brilliant but no one knew because she had no words, and needed a Daddy an Momma to give her a life she could never have in her country.  God knew that little girl was created to be a Ferguson  So when you want to second guess that decision you talk to Him.  Do you really think we wouldnt want to go the easier route (if there is one) and have much less money due, and no travel, and only 6 months to be free of follow up visits and social workers? To have government money and insurance helping us pay their way to adulthood? GOD led us to our child the first time and He is doing the same thing again. Again... something we spend many hours and days praying about.

Adoption is beautiful and priceless, each and every child is a gift... so instead of sitting around deciding if we are doing the right thing, the right way, according to your opinion, get up of your throne and do something, anything, to be Gods hands and feet.  We dont adopt because it feels good, or it is a fun hobby, or for some emotional high,  we do it because as Christians we have been commanded in scripture to take care of them.  So that is what we will do, and your opinion, though we love you, will not deter us from that.

*There was one more but I forgot... guess that will be for later.

Ok off the soap box.... Thank you to all of those who encourage us and support us and remind us God is with us, your words are powerful and priceless.  We have the power to speak life or death to those beside us on this faith journey, ....what will you speak? 


Thursday, March 7, 2013


Ok so as you know I don't wait well.  So I may have to come back in a couple days and tell you that China has rejected our requests, but I have to keep it real.  This is part of the journey.  So here goes.... We filed paperwork today to place a precious child on hold,  which means if China pre-approves us, we will be matched with this child.  As most of you know we have been looking for a little girl with hearing loss, preferably a couple years younger than Ariana. So During our One Less event we were drawn to a picture, a face that ignited a chain of events that God had been laying the groundwork for. We requested a couple files that we were not expecting to be looking at. Which prompted our agency to send us another file, that was new to the shared list.  The file of a child that would settle into our hearts so peacefully, and make us reconsider things we weren't sure about. A child from the exact same city as Ariana, and just over a year younger... a child that looks like HE could be her biological brother..... Let that soak in a bit..................................................... .....................................................................................................................................................
...... We could very well be officially locked in with this gorgeous little boy in a few days!  I have no doubt that he would blend in perfectly in our family.  All three of our kids are on board for the switch, and strangely I am at complete peace about him.  The house is another issue,  we have to put up a wall and basically build a room to make this work.  That is a job... but the story doesn't end there.  We also made the decision to "for sure" pursue adopting two at once. (thus the need for the room) We are looking to also be matched with a girl as well.. younger than both of the younger two. Paperwork has begun, and our social worker has been notified. Which means... we have increased our overall cost by another 12 to 15 thousand dollars. Yes you read that right... and you are probably thinking we are nuts. I am thrilled and scared and in awe of God.  I find myself once again reminding Him that He must do this because we can't. Our homestudy will be ready soon, and we will file with USCIS for two precious babies.  so please pray for us,  and for every step of this process. We will know in a couple days if China approves us to adopt this sweet boy. Pray that we find favor with everyone that looks at our file.  We will be applying for grants as soon as our homestudy is in our hands. So..... pray people!!! aaaaahhhhhhhhh lol

A boy! Who Knew? we are working on names now... I have a couple favorites... but that is for a later blog. OOOOH and if you saw my facebook status recently you may have wondered about this opportunity I mentioned. We volunteered at a Show Hope sponsorship booth back at the end of the year last year at an Andrew Peterson concert. We got a notice of another volunteer opportunity and we quickly said yes.  Casting Crowns will be in Longview on April 4th at the Belcher Center and we will be there, helping Show Hope spread the word about adoption. I am so excited.  I love helping Show Hope in anyway, but when that is coupled with being available to share our story with others who may be interested in adoption, I am thrilled.

Ok enough, sorry for the long blog...
Love you guys...

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

One Less

I have wrestled the last couple days, because I am always very honest and open about things.  I think that families reading these blogs and considering adoption need to see the real story not some sugar coated version.  However I am going to be very careful because there are some very generous people in my life and I don't want to minimize how wonderful that is. That said... here is the story...

The day started out well, we had some details to finish but God had helped us through it all so far, we were nervous and excited about what was to come, and the lives that could be changed.  As time progressed we got set up and ready, we had water and cookies in the lobby for sale during intermission, and one of our fund raisers, a quilt we are making and allowing people to purchase the right to sign for our newest child.  I had a table for Madison (our agency) for those who wanted more information about them, and just adoption in general.  I never remember to have someone take pictures, but we did video the concert, and speakers.

When it was time to start we had a handful of people there, we decided to delay for about 15 minutes hoping people where just late.  We had a few more people come in, but didn't want to keep them waiting any more.  With all the helpers and family and artists, I think we had about 60 people.  Now here is where honesty comes in.  I was very disappointed, and sad,  I stood in the sound booth praying that God help me to refocus to not see things with my eyes but through His.  I would love to say that instantly I felt peace and moved on happily.  It didn't play out that way,  I was hurt and disappointed and was hearing the voice of the enemy, his steady whisper in my ear telling me that I wasn't good enough,  that people didn't care enough about us, that we weren't popular or likable enough to draw out a crowd.  We did the leg work, passed out fliers posted them all over town, had it announce on our local radio station and had a facebook page with hundreds of people invited (which I posted over and over :) ).  Still only 60 or so, including all of us came out (and only a handful from my own church). So I did what I knew I needed to do,  I paced in that booth and prayed and fought through the fog that was trying to settle in around me,  trying to keep me from sharing our story with strength and confidence,  Trying to steal the beauty of the gifts that were given of peoples time, effort, prayers, heart and money. Peace did come, and clarity filled my heart.  This was Gods night, His message, I was just a part of the message ringing out.  I saw the beauty around me and the love,  I felt surrounded and blanketed in it.  The night did not follow my ideal, it wasn't my way,  but it was Gods.  I trust that the message rang deep into the hearts of everyone there, and seeds were planted.  I trust that those children's faces that looked back from the big screens during every song are burned into our minds.  I trust that the people that were there were moved and changed and they will be moved to bring change :) My niece put on a powerful performance for these orphans so close to her heart. The music was beautiful, and Brandy Flanagan and her family shared their beautiful story.  We shared some of our story and our hearts, and I was at complete peace.  The night was great, and I feel sad for those who missed out.  As it came to a close I felt completely fulfilled, knowing I am walking smack dab in the middle of Gods perfect will for me.  These babies are my heart, and I am so blessed God allows me to walk beside Him as He finds them homes.

I want to say thank you, to every artist, every person who helped, or prayed, to everyone who gave up there time and came and sat with us for a little while.  Thank you to those who live far away and could not come, but I felt your love and support.  Thank you for every single dollar given to help bring our baby home.   I don't want to embarrass anyone by naming names, but to those who sent money in through the church before the event... thank you.   I cannot express to you what all of these things mean to us.  We raised just over a thousand dollars at this event, and if you look at the number of people there that were not workers, that is AMAZING!  Most importantly,  Thank you Father, for the beauty you wove into that night, and our lives.  For these amazing generous people you have placed in our life.

Oh and for those of you who don't know,  our day was made more perfect because we carried the joy in our hearts of the arrival of Lorvens into the United States.  He came home with the Huber family from Pa, the night before,  he is now One Less... 

So we will keep on moving forward, praying for a miracle, but working all the way doing our part. Keep praying for our match, and our precious kids, where ever they are.

Love, Kathy