Love is

I didn't give you the gift of life, But in my heart I know. The love I feel is deep and real, As if it had been so.

For us to have each other Is like a dream come true! No, I didn't give you The gift of life, Life gave me the gift of you. --- Unknown

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Happy Friendly Little Elijah Miles Ferguson

Elijah came to us, very unsure.  We won him over in the beginning with toys but as soon as his nanny left his world flipped upside down and he was going to fight it.  It took a couple hours but he warmed up and began to let us in.   Until we told him no the first time :) He would have major melt downs when he didn't get his way.  We stood our ground gently but firmly, letting him know that we would love him and take care of him, but that we were in charge.  Many parents of adopted kids shy away from this thinking they cant say no or discipline at all at first,  I feel just the opposite.  I feel that structure and strength help a child that has been on their own feel safe for the first time ever.  Some kids fight it, and you have to take different approaches for each child.  For Elijah he need it, he needed words and guidance for the first time ever, and it needed to makes sense.  He is very Uninterested in learning language.  Ariana came to us craving words and learned so fast.  Elijah has no time for learning he just wants to play.  When we talk to him he stares at us blankly and then nods his head like "ya.. that's great... can I go now?"  It is funny but very frustrating to not be able to communicate and to try and teach him things, we do a lot of sign mime sign to get the point across. Mostly he is confused.  he is very smart and sneaky and funny and happy and sweet and loving... He is kind to his siblings and loves his daddy very much, me he likes a lot lol.  We are working hard to bond with him, and it gets all jumbled up with teaching and correcting and day to day like. Adopting young child is amazing but it does take work to form a bond, it doesn't just happen naturally because they don't need you to do as much for them.  I love this sweet boy,  I am blessed beyond measure to be his momma.  He loves his big sister very much and they run around holding hands,  he even laughs when she dresses him up in girly clothes and high heals,  he ran around with a purple crown on his head for days.  Daddy says he needs some boy activities lol. He plays so well will each of the kids and wants to hug and kiss everyone,  which we are working on.  So when you see us please don't be offended when we stop him from running up and hugging you.  Yes it is sweet, but it is also not safe for him to give affection to total strangers. We have to teach him who it is ok to greet with a hug, and for now that must be restricted to family until he understands the difference.  Please help us by not picking him up or asking for a hug,  we are allowing him to hug people we know from church and friends but only after we do, we are teaching him to follow our lead.  So if you aren't comfortable hugging me and daddy please don't try and hug our new adopted ones :)

Here is a picture of Elijah when we met him. This is after his nanny left and he fought hard to get to here for a while, he was exhausted and clumsy ninja saved the day.

After a few days with us...

My sweet happy boy :)

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