Love is

I didn't give you the gift of life, But in my heart I know. The love I feel is deep and real, As if it had been so.

For us to have each other Is like a dream come true! No, I didn't give you The gift of life, Life gave me the gift of you. --- Unknown

Friday, June 6, 2014

Doodles Story

I have rolled this over in my head a million times as to how to start, how to capture this little ball of joy and energy into words.  So I will start at the beginning,  I wasn't by her side, so the details come from my distant perspective. 

This is the story of a precious baby girl hand crafted by God in her mothers womb,  a womb that didn't belong to me but there is no doubt she was shaped and designed to be a Ferguson (more on that later).   This is how her life began.  She was born way to early and her tiny body wasn't ready to survive in this world.

She was not alone,  She had family members who prayed for her and loved her and pulled her through.  The spoke to her and stood by her side and helped care for her.  Wonderful doctors and nurses fought to keep her alive. During this time through some sweet friends Lee and Kaykay (her great Uncle and Aunt) we heard about and prayed for this precious baby to survive and thrive.  She was a fighter and was (and is  still:) ) stubborn, she was going to live! We got to see glimpse of her though them.  I only saw her once briefly in person when she was around seven month old, she was tiny, closer to the size of a baby only a month old.  I had no idea that day what God knew.  Had I known can you imagine how differently that meeting may have been?  She waltz out of my life as quickly as she came in.  Months later this sweet girl had been through some rough times and her Aunt and Uncle took her in,  they knew God had a plan for her but I don't think they had any idea how it would play out.  In June of last year I got to meet her again, she was chubby and sassy and oh so adorable.  We were waiting (not so patiently) on our match with our daughter in China.  We had begun to wonder what God was doing :) When we heard this little girl needed a forever home we knew why our match hadn't come.  We felt almost immediately like she was meant to be ours but she had a family who were reeling with emotions and struggling with what would be best for her, trying to keep their own feelings at bay.  This little girl is loved beyond measure by so many.  During this time I began helping the family take care of her,  knowing that she might never be my daughter but trying to use every moment with her to pour all my love and prayer over her.  I tried not to get too attached,  I tried to love her as someone else's' child but my heart betrayed me :)) HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CHILD?  Not only is she beautiful but if that doesn't get you when she crawls up in your lap and opens her mouth you are a goner!  This is a picture of her the very first day I got to watch her.
We also during this time left the doors open with our China adoption, we had no idea if this sweetie would come to us or not, and without that assurance you don't close the doors to China :) We were also aware that there was a slim chance that we would end up with two daughters before this was over depending on how it all played out.  Now keep in mind we started our second adoption journey looking for one little girl, yet at the time we met doodle we had already opened our heart to our sweet Elijah and had changed the plan from one adoption to two.  So if the perfect storm occurred we would be adopting three children.  Yes I know you are asking your self if we are crazy right now.  The answer would be yes! Crazy blessed, and keenly aware of how many more children need homes.  Soooo (trying to keep this short) through prayer and love members of her birth family came on board.  God was weaving... so to shorten this story,  paperwork was file late last year to give temporary conservatorship to David and I and doodles great Uncle and Aunt.  We still had much work and paperwork to do.  Nothing was certain, and far from final.  As Gods crazy plan unfolded our sweet Eva (from China) was presented to us,  we had no doubt this was our daughter.  You can only imagine the roller coaster of emotion.  So we proceeded with a sure thing, praying for God to work all the details out.  It is amazing how our two adoptions in China were finalized and more permanent conservatorship (and termination of parental rights) aligned so perfectly that neither adoptions were affected.  So today... Three months after we held our sweet Eva for the first time... we walked into the courtroom and were granted final and forever adoption of this beautiful little girl, whom we have named Aubrey Kate Ferguson.  She wasn't born into the wrong family, God just expanded hers to make something beautiful.  She is silly and sassy and stubborn.  Her smile lights up her face and our hearts, and her giggle is infectious. She is so much like her cousin Alyssa its as if God modeled her after her.  She is strong willed like every one of my children.  She is creative and draws people to her just like her biggest sister. She is compassionate like her biggest brother. She can handle Ariana (lol) and is gentle enough to play by her baby sister Eva. She and Elijah will soon be teaming up to entertain us. She is God designed to fit just so into all our lives. She is her Daddies girl and her Momma's little love. She giggled her way into our hearts and we are more than blessed to call her our daughter. 
Aubrey Kate
I want to say thank you to those in her birth family that have chosen to love without condition, and to give her the gift of a family and crazy brothers and sister.  We know the grief and the pain you have walked through to come to that place.  We are grateful for your love for Aubrey and for your sacrifice.  None of us take it for granted,  we know the magnitude of the gift you gave her and the cost to you.  I am so excited to watch this little girl grow up and so happy that she has this huge family that crosses blood lines to love her. 
...And that is the best this writer could do to tell the huge story in just a few words.
Thank you God for this precious family you have woven, there is no denying your handy work... I pray I can live everyday honoring the gifts you have given us.
So moral of the story... go adopt... It is amazing! ( and yes hard too) (but mostly amazing) 

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