I am writing this to you, the one who has stood on the edge many times. You have come so close to taking that leap, you have lifted one foot into the open air just off the side of the cliff, and just as you began to lean your head back and slowly close your eyes... you hear it, that thing that makes your heart grow cold and numb. Those words so perfectly thought out, timed to perfection, spoken when your heart was standing with your back to him and your eyes on the God of faith. His words make you sick to your stomach and you step back away from the edge, back to the comfort and security you know and you feel relief. Yes you have been here before, you have almost gone over the edge,but he always used something or someone to speak those exact words, the ones that give monstrous power to the fears inside. Fear that you will leap and God won't catch you, fear that you will step out and you will find yourself rejected and embarrassed, fear that you might look like a failure, or worse you might see yourself as one, fear that your choices may result in the tears of those you love "if things don't work out" fear that you are too old, or too young, fear that the longing that has grown in your heart is just emotion. Fear that maybe you need a special calling for the road ahead and you aren't sure you have it. Let me clarify something, every single person who has taken this leap before you, did so with fear pounding in their hearts, and screaming in there ear. But they jumped anyway... Not because they were stronger or more sure but because they finally reached that place where they said "God I am nothing, I cannot do this, and I may end up rejected and embarrassed but if I do, I will know that I felt your tugging, I saw their faces and I hear their cries and I said yes!" I will rest knowing if I do this and it seems to fail with human eyes, that you had a greater purpose for me, and I will choose to still trust you. You have a choice... Let fear keep you from what very well could be the greatest most beautiful journey of your life. You can stay in safety, but you will never know the pure joy and perfect beauty of the road ahead. Or you can leap, and I promise you, you will feel the thrill of trusting God, and doing something so much greater than you. Fear will follow, he will keep whispering, but his strength will diminish. The journey will be wild and you will wonder if you are crazy sometimes... (You might be lol) but you won't regret it of you keep your eyes on God, and when you look into the eyes of the child he has crafted perfectly for your family, you will understand why. Leap and God will be faithful, because He wants this more than you.
If I know anything about you, I know this... Some little girl needs you to be her daddy, because you are the perfect one God has to show her his love and heal her hurt. Some little boy needs to ride on your shoulders and hear you call him son. Do it for them, in the same way I know you would do it for your other children... Walk through this fire for your babies.... They need that momma and sister and brother, they need you. My family is praying for you, and we will continue to walk with you in every way possible... We love you.
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