Beauty

God is the beauty in the midst of chaos, and my reminder that no matter what I can see or feel He is there, in control.  Not for one moment does He forsake us.  This is what carries me through rough spots, what gently refocuses me when circumstances get confusing. I have been listening to Merideth Andrews song "Not For A Moment" You should look it up, it is beautiful.

There is so much happening right now.  We had our in home visit with our new social worker.  She is a very kind, bubbly lady, with a beautiful South African accent who seemed to be comfortable with us.  She was very taken with Ariana, who by the way, showed her to her bedroom and proceeded to sing a mini concert for her on her little stage with her microphone, all the while signing to her demanding she raise her hands in worship.  Lol I don't know what this child is going to be but she has the heart of a worship leader, and the girl sings with more heart and passion that most hearing people.

Our One Less event, is quickly approaching,  we have had some exciting developments, (which you will have to come to see), and we have had some disappointment, the kind that sends you head spinning and fear begins to whisper in your ear all the "what ifs".  I have been praying for God to bless this event, to be there and weave every moment together so that everyone who comes is touched and changed by these beautiful waiting children.  I know that is good, what I didn't realize was along the way I somehow shifted some of the hope onto the event and not the event planner. So with a big disappointment God gently reminded me, "Hello, I am here, I have this, not you, not the people supporting you, I have this.  I walked before you every step of the way the last time, and I will do it again"  Silly me... getting caught up in planning and work, like I could somehow do something like this myself.  I love the busy-ness, I love working to help these kids, I am blessed to be a part of every God moment He gives me to share about our adoption and what God has done. I also love knowing that it isn't my work that brings about any change, it is God,  and I just get to go along for the ride, and share in what He is doing.

Anyway things may not be exactly as I had planned but they will be beautiful.  I am so excited!  I want to say thank you again to everyone who has been praying for us, and supporting and encouraging us. I can feel the love and support.  To those two beautiful woman who helped talk me through my recent disappointment, I love you both sooo and I am thankful for you.  I am thankful for all the different voices He uses to remind me, and the hands that gently turn my face to Him.  I don't always see clearly, but today, I do and I see how truly blessed I am.

:)

Riding the roller coaster...

So if this journey is anything it is full of ups and downs.  If I am anything, it is honest, so I am sorry you have to endure my ups and downs with me :).  We are still waiting to find out who our child/children will be this time, and anyone who knows me or followed our journey to Ariana, know I don't wait well.  I get paperwork, and get it done asap and then I have to wait on other people.  Other amazing, passionate, wonderful people who understand our impatience and respond with kindness.  You learn alot about yourself when walking this path, and you grow.  You become more flexible and you find yourself open to things you didn't think you would be.  It will be interesting to see what challenges our little one/s will come home with this time.  So for the last few days I have been at the bottom of one hill fighting the hardest part of the climb up the huge hill in front of us. Today I feel the steady climb, I can see the top, I am excited about the thrill of the ride down, hands in the air, wind in my face loving every second.  I also know that as the momentum slows, there will be many more slow starts and maybe even some times of getting stuck on the way up, trapped with no way off... and honestly I wouldn't want off.  Ok enough cheesy analogies...

One Less benefit is quickly approaching and I am excited,  I got word today I will be allowed to do one of the things I am most excited about during the night,  I also am hopeful we will have some of our tshirts ready to sell that night.  We are putting together a quilt fundraiser (note to self, buy squares!!!).  The basic idea is, we will choose a pattern and buy quilt squares, then we will sell the right to sign a square, these squares will then be sown together into a quilt for our newest addition to sleep with.  I love the idea that they will be wrapped in messages of love from people who helped to bring them home.  I am trying to find a compatible gadget to add to this blog that shows our financial progress along the way.  So if you know of one let me know.

Ok that is all for now, I think... keep the prayers coming, I feel them carrying me today.  I am truly thankful for each and everyone who is supporting us.  I am amazed at how God weaves people together at the right time... so for each of you reading this... thank you, because even if we have never met in person, God designed this moment, and I am blessed you are here.

Love,
Kathy

Confession time

Hey friends,

I must confess, I am a mess today.  I am overwhelmed by everything I need to do.  I need some support and encouragement... so I am asking... HELP???? We are working hard to organize and get the word out for our OneLess event,  I am very excited about that night, for many reasons, but I am also terrified no one will come.  I want so badly to pack the house and get the word out.  I want so desperately to do good for these precious children waiting.  I know all the things I should be thinking but for some reason my aching heart is driving the show right now. So maybe I am writing this to encourage myself.. IDK so here goes

I know God is in control
I know He loves me and He loves these children
I know people care, they are just busy with their own lives and struggles
I know God has heard my cries
I know He will be faithful to complete this work
I know that He has already found my child/children and is holding them in His hand right now
I know that just like last time He is with me in these times when I cannot see past the pile of paperwork and financial due dates
I know that the majority of people are supportive and not judgemental about our fundraising
I know this fund raiser will be a success

The problem has been my focus, the enemy works so hard to get my eyes on the struggle and the overwhelming mountain in front of me, he pushes relentlessly until the fear is smothering.  I even while typing this I see the state I am in today is my fault.  I have been listening to the wrong voice, and looking at the "don't haves" like the facebook list of people coming to our event that isn't growing like I feel it should. So as I struggle to keep my eyes fixed on God,  I would ask that you pray for me, and my family.  Please pray for our fund raisers that they will be well supported and successful. Pray that I will recognize when the enemy is using my fear to lead my passion in the wrong direction.

I seem to always be reminded in times like these of the song "What Faith Can Do" By Kutless

What Faith Can Do

 

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do

Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

I will leave it at that and go pray and hold to those words...
Thanks guys...
Kathy

Boys...

     We are searching diligently for our child,  watching and waiting and checking the lists. There are so many boys.  People are still under the mistaken belief that orphanages are full of little girls in China.  The truth is there are so many boys.  I came upon one to day that I want to bring home.  The problem is, I need a bigger house.  We settled on another girl because it would be easy to move one into the room with Ariana.  A boy however would present a problem.  I don't think he would appreciate moving into a lavender princess room, playing with dolls and dressing up in dresses and jewelry.  Then again, he probably wouldn't care where he moved into as long as he had a family.  Not sure how good it would be for his development though :).  So I guess my point is today, please pray for all these boys, and for us.  If God has a little man picked out for us then I know He has a plan to make it work. I just cannot see it right now. 

This part of the process is so heart wrenching, seeing all these faces, knowing each and everyone needs a family.  I want a huge house, not for me, or for status, but simply so I can fill it up with children.  Children who have been waiting too long.

God help me...

Kathy

Beautiful things...

So the fee that I told you about last post that had been reduced... amazing all by itself right?  Well today I was working to see how much I could gather up,  we had money from a small fund raiser we did at Davids job (thank you Weatherford ppl!) but we were still short. Which David was going to pull from our budget somehow lol. But I was hoping we wouldn't have to do that, but determined we were going to make this payment this week..  We have a change jar we use for adoption money and that brought us up ... I scrounged even closer...I pulled all all the money I had in my wallet (getting excited now)  lol After added that all up we were only 16 dollars short... mwahhahahahahahaha what is 16 dollars out of our budget?  We eat more off brand and I put off buying something that can be stretched right? but...... dun dun dun then. we.  checked.  the.  mail.  David received an unexpected (duplicate check) for a side job.... so he called to tell them of the oversight and they told him to keep it and take it off the next invoice.   My heart is smiling...

God didn't need my change... but I believe He enjoyed watching me gather it and the joy I found growing closer and closer.  All the while He was thinking about what He knew was coming... I love Him soooooo

 For those of you... you know who you are, standing on the edge... looking over... terrified to take the leap.  You feel Gods encouragement,  your heart is leaping out of your chest ahead of you,   throw your hands back look into his eyes, tell Him you can't do it, but you are going to trust that He will....  then step off the edge into His arms.  He will be faithful,  I have no doubt. 

Thank you God for today... for the little life, or lives :), you have planned for our family.

Sigh

So much

So much is happening these days.  Ashlyn is in Pa and I miss her so much I can barely breathe.  Ariana loves her so much and she asks about her all the time, today Destin was getting ready for Winterfest and he had his bag packed, Ariana wanted to know if he was leaving in the car like Ashlyn. :( I explained Destin would be back Sunday.  However fall will be here before you know it and Destin will be off to college.  I am so blessed to have these three kids... and so honored to be allowed to bring home another.  David and I joke sometimes about adopting until they wont let us anymore.  All I need is a bigger house, and lots of bunk beds!

We are working hard on fund raising plans.  We have some wonderful people God has placed in our life.  Some have been here a long time and some are brand new. They are going to be helping us along the way.  We are planning details for our Benefit Concert on March 2.  David and I, and Michael (thanks Michael)  have some great ideas and God has been guiding us all to the same place. It is beautiful to get a glimpse of Gods hand weaving the events of that night.  I am so excited.  Oh and Tshirt designs are well under way and I cannot wait to reveal our final ideas very soon. 

God blessed us again with a reduction in a fee that is due asap!!! If I haven't said it enough, He is so faithful.  I know how scary it is to step out on Faith when things look like you cant do it,  but we are living proof that God will take each step before you.  I can already feel Him, I am already marveling and the beauty of His work.  Sigh... I love him sooooo.

Kathy