Love is

I didn't give you the gift of life, But in my heart I know. The love I feel is deep and real, As if it had been so.

For us to have each other Is like a dream come true! No, I didn't give you The gift of life, Life gave me the gift of you. --- Unknown

Thursday, March 20, 2014


Well we have been home for 5 day and I am just coming up for air.  We had a loooong exhausting trip home.  Eva was fussy on the entire flight, never really slept long. She never screamed but she fussed and fussed and tossed around. Elijah slept a long time and then woke up grumpy.  We had toys and activities for him but we didn't get to use them like we did with Ariana.  He is a great kid, but so different from Ariana in many ways.  He is finally watching us enough to learn some signs.  However being a boy he would much rather play than learn words.  Eva is still very clingy but will play by herself some.  She hates getting strapped in the car seat, but she pretty much hates being put down for any reason :).  Our last couple days in China were good, we had a relaxed time at Shamien island,  I so miss staying there this adoption trip, but no one really stays there anymore :( it was just so nice to be on a secluded little island and be able to go out and wander around with your child.  Outside the Garden was very busy city streets with lots of traffic, and even though many adoptive families stayed there we only got to meet a few and didn't really get to know them :( I missed everyone staying close and all playing outside or in the hotel play room.  Anyway the hotel was amazingly beautiful, out room was so nice and roomy... And breakfast was yummy.  Outside was a gorgeous garden with a walking path and waterfall.  So I am not complaining, just missing what was.

So here is a brief blurb about adopting two at once.  Having done this both ways I have to say adopting one was much more relaxed, comfortable and fun.  I wouldn't have wanted to make either of my children wait another day, so I have no regrets.  However our bonding time with Ariana was much better and easier because we only had her.  She got more of us, and I guess I have some mom guilt because I couldn't give either of the newest ones my complete attention.  Elijah got is for two days alone, but they were busy days.  Eva was more needy and I felt like I didn't get to bond as fast with Elijah because I was taking care of her.  Again I am absolulty not complaining, but I have promised to be honest,  adopting two at one time is harder and more stressful.  Maybe had they both been older this would not have been the case. :)

Now back to the good stuff.  They are both gorgeous sweet kids and I love thems so.  I cried like a baby walking through the doors at the airport and seeing my other kids and all my family waiting for us. Elijah was a bit overwhelmed but it didn't take long for him to warm up. Eva let her big brother hold her first and didn't seem to mind others holding her.  I couldn't wait to hug my babies, I missed them so... I still miss my firstborn, there was a huge hole where she belonged at the airport and here at home since.  I hope to see her soon.  Elijah and Ariana are best buddies already.  I expected this, but it is so sweet too see.  She is (mostly) very kind to him.  She is showing him the ropes and they run off holding hands all the time.  We have seen a few more Eva smiles since we got home, and she is now happily taking cereal and also enjoyed some peas.  We have decided to take it slow and introduce foods carefully much like a younger baby.  We are not going to rush her out of this baby stage she is in, it is good for bonding.  It is bittersweet, sad that she is so delayed, but sweet that we will see her first steps and be a part of many other baby firsts with her.

I love having them here and the truth is this is so hard, physically and emotionally.  We are still getting use to Texas time again and so still very tired but much better than a few days ago.  I am so thankful for my family,  they took care of so much while we were gone and are willing to do whatever we need now that we are home.  I am truly blessed.  In keeping with my whole "truth on this blog thing". I have not done so well this last week,  sheer exhaustion and stress has left me with little patience and I have felt like a horrible mommy.  Please pray for me that I find my feet and get organized, and that I have the time to spend with my Daddy to keep my spirit calm so I can be a kind loving momma.

***Please keep our Children's pastor in your prayers, her mother went to heaven this week,  my heart aches for her and her family,  please pray God comfort them and give them strength and hope amidst grief.  ***

I will update more later, I know this one was long over due.

Love to all

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